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Bruha Ha Ha

I really don't understand what all the fuss is about. In fact, I would not have even known there was any kind of "controversy" about my pal, Ann Coulter, until I came across a posting on a blog recently.

As usual, I was surfing the Internets, looking for nude pictures of Wil Wheaton, when I came across a posting on a blog about how offended gay conservatives were at her recent use of the word "fagott."

Don't these faggots understand that Ann was just telling a joke. And even if she weren't, don't they understand that the word is a term of endearment, like "Heb," "Wop," or "Alabama Porch Monkey." I mean we on the right would never say anything bad about minorities.

All these people complaining about what Ann said are just being immature, like children on the playground, running to the teacher when another kid hits them a little too hard in a game of dodge ball. This is just beneath adults. Come on, grow up, faggot!

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Savaged

I agree with Michael Savage. I, too, get sick looking as lesbians. I guess, however, that when I look at lesbians, my sickness is due to my excessive homophobia. In Michael's case it is due to his excessive masturbation and cocaine use watching lesbian pornography. But we basically agree on principle.

When I saw the Oscars, I was, too, sickened by the talk of wives and lesbians. Well, not at first. At first I was titillated, then after I took a cold shower, I was sickened.

Look, no one wants to hear about alternative lifestyles, unless it is in a Bill O'Reilly novel. My secret loofah lover can show me rug munchers anytime.

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Wimps!

Look, I'm getting tired of hearing about the Walter Reed scandal. Talk about an inconvient truth!

Look, if you are man enough to take a bullet, why should a little rat shit and cockroaches bother you? Look, you signed up. You knew the risk. And don't give me that bullshit about "I was joining the National Guard to pay for college" crap.

If you didn't want to go to war, you shouldn't have joined the all-volunteer army. Look, you knew the chances when you signed up. You knew the chances when you took the oath. You knew the chances when you voted for a Bush. You should have known we would go into Iraq to kill the guy who tried to kill his daddy. And don't give me that "no one could have imagined" line.

So just buck it up! You're a soldier. At least until you are discharged and get 0% disability.

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