Third Party

As a Christian, conservative, and Reagan Republican, I cannot support Rudy Giuliani. If he gets the nomination, I will not support him for President. I will join the rest of my fellow conservatives and support a third candidate. If it costs the Republicans the White House, so be it. It is our punishment for abandoning our core values.

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Alan Keyes the Motor Cities

Recently Alan Keyes was informed he cannot participate in the Michigan Presidential Debates. I don't believe that there is any favoritism going on here. There are many reasons not to include Mr. Keyes. He has come late to the table, and his campaign is not as organized as the other candidates'. He cannot be considered a serious candidate, since he does not currently and has not ever held public office. His polling has been extremely weak, and his coffers quite anemic, lending to the widespread belief that he is a dark horse candidate with no hopes of winning the nomination, and therefor is nothing more than a distraction. And finally, he's black. We already have enough Negroes in the party, so we really don't need one more.

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Chez Cheney

USA Today recently highlighted the Cheney's taste in home decoration. I found the article quite charming, even if some vital information hadn't been overlooked. For instance, not a word was written of the elaborately-decorated torture dungeon the Cheneys had installed. From my understanding, it was decorated by Ralph Lauren himself.

The writer also didn't talk about the Constitution Room, where guests are encouraged to urinate and defecate on replicas of the founding documents. A lot of effort went into designing drains that could both handle the enormous flow of Rush Limbaugh's bowel movements, and the ever clogging parchment of eighteenth century manuscripts.

I was also saddened to see no mention of the Lesbian orgy room, which Lynn Cheney had modeled after the Marquis de Sade's own boudoir. Lynn often entertains other notable closeted Republicans like Lindsey Graham, Laura Bush, and Mitt Romney's son, Craig.

Otherwise, I enjoyed the article immensely.

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Schwarzwasser

Blackwater and company are performing a vital service in Iraq. Without them, the number of soldiers needed to secure the country would have to double. In order to do that, we would need to reinstate the draft. If we reinstated the draft, people might stop watching reality TV and Howie Mandell's bald head long enough to notice there is a war on. Then where would we be? If anyone actually paid attention for five minutes, they would demand a change, and our fun little war would be over, and all us rich Republicans would be forced to face the music for what we have done for the last six years.

No, thank you! I like things the way they are. It's 2007, do you know where you $500 billion are? No? Good!

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Desperately Filipino

My gal pal, Michelle Malkin, and I went out to have dinner last night. This time we went to a very nice black restaurant. I had the mother fucking iced tea, and she had the cock sucking lemonade. It was really nice.

During dinner Michelle asked me if I had seen the latest "Desperate Housewives" episode. I told her I didn't tend to watch the show, since it came on the same time as my favorite show, you know the one that features all the naked men. She looked at me inquisitively, or it could have been angrily. To be quite honest, I have no idea how she looks at me, because she always looks so sreepy.

She asked what show this was and what channel it was on. I explained that it wasn't as much a show as a college varsity team, and it wasn't so much a channel as a hole I drilled into the wall of their shower room. But it was must see TV, nonetheless.

After she had regained her composure, she told me how the latest episode of "Desperate Housewives" had included a slur against Philippine-trained doctors. Now I know many Philippine-trained physicians, and I can assure you that a little less than half are what you might call "butchers." The overwhelming majority of the rest are just quacks.

I asked her why she would be so offended by such a silly television program. I asked her if she didn't think her apologist attitude towards the internment of Japanese Americans in World War II wasn't just a tad worse. She got angry. Well, at least I think it was angry, once again, can't figure out what the hell she is thinking, sreepy and all, you know.

She told me the two were nothing alike. She was basically making apologies for people who committed war crimes against American citizens, and the "Desperate Housewives" writers were just pissing her off. I saw her point.

I got up to use the facilities, and when I had gotten back, the bitch had left and stuck me with the bill. Just goes to show you, you can't trust Filipina bloggers.

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Ron Paul?

I really don't understand this infatuation so-called "Re- publicans" have with Ron Paul. To me, his is no better than Murtha, hating this war, blaming the United States for terrorism, and providing therapy and preparing indictments for our enemies.

A real Republican knows this war is essential to ridding the world of the people who attacked us on 9/11: Saddam Hussein and his sons. We have to stay until the job is done, the weapons of mass destruction have all been destroyed, and Iraq is just like Israel in the Middle East.

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Fred's Lazy Ass

Fred, please get off your lazy ass and get out there in the crowds and do meet and greets. You are being pulverized by the Moron, I mean Mormon, the Drag Queen, Mr. Alzheimers, and the rest of the quacks! We cannot afford to lose this one! If you do not get the nomination, we will lose, and if will all be your fault. You are not in Hollywood anymore. You have to work for it now. And bring some of your friends from Law and Order on the road with you. God knows the show sucks now, so put these actors to work doing something worthwhile.

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SCHIPS

I am so glad our Commander Guy showed the courage so few in the Democrat party exhibit. By vetoing this dangerous legislation, he made a bold stand on principle and made a loud and clear statement about what is truly important in this nation!

This was a slippery slope, leading our nation to the evils of nationalized health care. To paraphrase a famous line from Lady Justice, it is better that a thousand children die of a curable illness than one American needlessly suffers under "universal" health care. The only thing "universal" about universal health care is that everyone gets it. That's just plain scary.

Our beloved Decider also drew the line on taxes. Yes, cigarettes are bad, but taxes are also bad. So cigarette taxes are doubly bad. We need to keep the prices down, so the poor can afford to smoke. It also makes the access to cigarettes easier for children. Since they aren't going to have health care, anyway, why not smoke and have a little fun?

Finally our President said what we all have been thinking all along: "kids, if you want health care, get a fucking job." God bless our President!

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Leave Rush Alone

I cannot believe the Democrats have stooped so low, to condemn free speech like this! You would never see the Republicans condemn free speech. And to attack poor Rush's drug problem, a disease he cannot control. You would never seem Rush making fun of someone's disease.

Rush would never attack a man in uniform like those terrible MoveOn people. Rush is a true patriot. He would have served in the military if he hadn't had a pimple on his ass. Those things are painful, believe me. And even if he did serve and managed to fit his corpulence into a uniform, he would have fought with distinction like other brave Republicans, like Ted Nugent, Dick Cheney, and George W. Bush.

These Democrats should stop attacking Rush. Wait did Rush ever do to them?

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Don't Take No Shit, Amish

It is a year since the tragedy in Nickle Mines, Pennsylvania, when five Amish girls were gunned down by a madman. This is just another fine example of why we must protect our Second Amendment rights. If those little girls in that Amish school house had been allowed to carry guns, that murdered never would have been able to kill any of them. They would have taken him out the second he showed his weapon. Protect children's right to bear arms. Let your child carry a gun. It may protect her life!

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A Guest Blogger

I asked my gal pal, Michelle Malkin, to write a blog post for me. Now don't think I am being mag- nanimous. I am just a lazy bitch. It's really hard to write something with a raging hangover. But I digress. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you Michelle Malkin and her sentimentalizing over some Philippine crap or something.

Ako po ay si Michelle Malkin na siya pong inanyaya ng aking matalik na kaibigang si Blanca. Kami po ni Blanca ay matalik na kaibigan kahit noong araw pa. Ako po ay nagpapasalamat na binigyan niya ako nitong pagkakataon upang ipaalam sa inyo ang aking mga nasasaisip at nagugunita para sa ating bayang Pilipinas.

Dumaan ang buwan ng Setyembre. At kapag dumarating ang buwan na iyan, ako po’y nagluluksa sapagkat aking natatandaan ang mga panahong may pag-asa ang Pilipinas. Ang mga panahong ito – ang tinatawag nating panahong “Imeldific”. Ang panahon ni Marcos!

Setyembre 21, 1972 ang araw, sabi sa akin ng aking Batanguenong tatay – ang simula ng grasiya sa Pilipinas. Dahil sa ating dating yamaong Pangulong Marcos, dumating sa atin ang kasiglahan ng isang bagong mamamayan – ang mamamayang pinagpala ng Kilusang Bagong Lipunan. Kanyang biglang kinitil ang mga puwesa ng Komunismo at sa ating hapag, inilagay ang bagong kilusan – isang Kilusan ng Bagong Pilipino – ang Bagong Lipunan. Yumaman ang mga Pilipino kahit hindi nawala ang mga squatter ng Lungsod ng Maynila at ng karatig probinsiya sapagkat nabigyan silang lahat ng isang Pangulo’t First Lady na marunong magpakita sa buong mundo ng mga bagong moda ng pananamit at estilong “Imeldific”. Napakita nila sa buong mundo na tayong mga Pilipino ay marunong din pala tumingin ng tatak ng damit tulad ng Lacoste at Salvatore Ferregamo.

Ang kanilang daing: hindi daw natin mapakain ang ating mga pamilya. Ngunit, meron naman tayong respeto – respetong galing sa mga bayaga sapagkat marunong naman tayong magpakita na tayo’y marunong din pala ng Pierre Cardin! At e ano ngayon kung hindi natin mapaaral an gating mga anak kung mayroon naman tayong Rustan’s at Shoemart? Nang dahil sa ating former First Lady, kahit ang mga palengkera ay natuto rin pala sumuot ng magandang sapatos – hindi nga Salvatore Ferregamo, ngunit iyon ay kopiang estilo na galing Marikina. Kung si Madam Imelda ay may tatlong libong sapatos sa Malacanang noong siya lumiwas, ang bawat Pilipino ay mapagmamalaking may tatlong dosesang bakya’t at tsinelas!

Hindi lang po iyon – kundi nang dahil kay Marcos, natuto po tayo ang manirahang may alipores sa bahay. Sapagka’t madali ang kumuha ang katulong, sino sa atin ang walang katulong? Lahat tayo ay may katulong – hindi ba iyan ang siglo ng kayamanan?

Anong binigay sa atin ng ating mga pinuno noong nawala si Marcos? Isang mamahay na hindi marunong manamit, isang heneral na walang silbe bilang “fashionista” ng Pilipinas at isang pandak na dewende na nagpapanggap Pangulo ng Pilipinas. Sana man lamang dumating ang isang Marcos Number 2 sa ating dating Pangulo na si Joseph Estrada – kundi lang siya pinatalsik ng People Power Number Two – mga Kommunista ng Pilipinas!

Ipagtatapos ang aking maliit na kommentariyo sa araw na ito. Aking isinisigaw: Gumising ka, Bayan!

I am Michelle Malkin and I would like to thank my friend Blanca for giving me this opportunity to express my thoughts and dreams of my homeland, the Philippines.

So September has come and gone. And when September comes, I mourn for the former days when the Philippines was radiating with hope – the times described as “Imeldific”. The Marcos years!

It was September 21, 1972, recalled my father who is a native of Batangas, was when the whole Philippines basked it its fortunes. Because under the leadership of our great former President Marcos, the Philippines became a people blessed by the New Society Movement. Marcos assured the welfare of each Filipino – even so if there are squatters in the whole City of Manila! Because, under Marcos, we are blessed by a President and First Lady who recognizes the importance of being “Imeldific”! We have shown to the whole world that the Filipino is no alien to latest fashions as seen in shirts by Lacoste and shoes by Salvatore Ferregamo.

So they have said: there was widespread hunger that families cannot feed their children/ But, is it not we have respect – the respect of the whole world because we know how to recognize a Pierre Cardin? And so what if we cannot send our children to school if we have the great stores Rustan’s and Shoemart? Because of our former First Lady, even the fish monger knows what’s a very good style of shoes! Even if it were not a Salvatore Ferregamo, it was a good pair with a similar style but made in Marikina! If Madam Imelda had three thousand pairs of shoes in Malacanang when she left, each Filipino can boast of having at least three dozens of wooden clogs and flip-flops!

And that is not all! Because of Marcos and her lifestyle, we have learned how important it is to have maids and slaves in the house. Because house labor is cheap, who among us cannot afford one? All of us had maids – is that not a sign of prosperity?

And what do we have since Marcos left? We had a housewife who does not even know how to dress, a useless General that does not even have a “Fashionista” sense, and a small dwarf who wants to pretend she can have the stature of a President! We could have had a Marcos Number 2 with out former President Joseph Estrada – if it were not for the People Power Number Two organized by these Communists in the Philippines!!!

I am closing mg small commentary with a note – “Wake up, my Countrymen!!!”

Thanks, Michelle. I appreciate your stepping up to the plate like this.

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Holocaust Schmolocaust

I completely agree with Michael Medved on how slavery in America has been blown out of proportion in order to push some liberal agenda. Not only do I agree with everything he stated in his article, I would like to add an additional example of how a former "crime" has been used by liberals as a way of attacking a country's good name.

1. THE HOLOCAUST WAS NOT THE FIRST PERSECUTION OF THE JEWS. The Holocaust, while a pretty bad thing, is not unique in history. Jews had been persecuted in the centuries preceding the twentieth. Germany was not alone in its attacks against Jews. Such attacks were institutionalized by the Vatican and Protestant Churches.

2. THERE IS NO REASON TO BELIEVE JEWS WOULD BE BETTER OFF TODAY HAD THERE BEEN NO HOLOCAUST. Jews today enjoy the privilege of having a nation, where they can romp in the Dead Sea, and are surrounding by lots of people who really don't hate them and want them dead at all. If there had not been a Holocaust, they would not have a place to vacation, join a Kibbutz, or send their really old relatives to die. If it weren't for Israel, Miami would be even more overflowing with Jews than it currently is. Israel is a buffer to keeping Florida as it was meant to be, white, Christian, and only slightly Hispanic.

3. MOST COMPANIES THAT USED JEWISH SLAVE LABOR ONLY ENJOYED MODERATE SUCCESS AFTER THE WAR. Most of the companies, like Bayer, Mercedes, and Volkswagen did not enjoy much success after the war and are struggling today. It's not their fault they used slave labor. Everyone was doing it. It was the thing to do. There was a lot of peer pressure at the time to do the "in thing."

4. STOLEN PROPERTY WAS MOSTLY LOST ANYWAY DUE TO THE BOMBINGS. Most of the property that Jews had "stolen" from them was burned up by the allied bombings during the war, so there is really no reason to cry over "spilled milk." The stuff is gone, so it's time to just move on.

5. REPARATIONS ARE USELESS. Just because the Germans killed six million Jews does not mean they should have to pay for it. Paying reparations to Israel is a useless exercise and needlessly punishes Germany for previous "war crimes" and makes Israel nothing more than a welfare state. It is time Israel gets over this, gets off welfare, and starts working, just like every other country.

6. THERE IS NO ANTISEMITISM ANYWHERE. Antisemitism no longer exists. People love Jews. They are the new blacks. Ever since Jews started voting Republican, they have been embraced by Christians. Most Christians "forgive" the Jews for killing Jesus. There is no longer any need to belabor the point of the Holocaust, because Jews are cool.

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Mabuhay!

I was mentioning to my gal pal, Michelle Malkin, how I seem to have a lot of visitors to the Blanca DeBree Blog from the Philippines. I asked if she might know why. She said it was because I look like Tina Yothers. I said "you're shitting me." She said "you know I don't do that, unless you are willing to pay the extra $20." We both laughed nervously, because we knew this was too close to truth for comfort. After all, it was in a squalid little whorehouse in Cebu that I first met Michelle. Back then her idea of scat had less to do with improvisational Jazz and more to do with Pampers. But I digress.

I asked her if she wouldn't mind teaching me something to say to my new Philippine readers in her native tongue. She said "one dollar, hand job; two dollar, blow job; three dollar, around the world, mister." I figured this was not the national language of the Philippines, so I clarified for her. I restated my request, being more specific this time. I asked her to say something in her native tongue she wouldn't necessarily use in a whorehouse. She told me if you want to make sure you never go home alone the best phrase to learn is "makano ka?"

I gave her a dirty look. I figured she was, despite her promise, shitting me. She finally acquiesced and taught me the phrase "Mabuhay!"

So to all my new Philippine friends, mabuhay!

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Me Love Vietnamese Restaurant Long Time!

Following the lead of Bill O'reilly, yesterday I went with my gal pal, Michelle Malkin, to a Vietnamese restaurant. And like Bill, I was surprised at how much like a white restaurant it was.

There were no underage girls ambling from table to table showing their bodies off and offering "me love you long time."

There were no dogs listed on the menu. When I figured that these might be reserved for the "special menu," I inquired about the cuisine. I was greeted with a horrified look and was informed that "we don't eat dogs."

They didn't kill the pig and cow at our table. Instead, they brought out the meal fully cooked, and gave us a choice of chop sticks or silverware. Shocking!

And when I needed to go to the bathroom, and I hiked up my skirt and pulled down my panties and squatted next to the table, I was stopped immediately and told to use the restroom. My god, they have restrooms!

It seems Vietnamese restaurants are just like white restaurants. They have earned the coveted White Girl Approval Award.

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