If You Don't Tape It, No One Will Know

It seems the CIA has been destroying their tapes of inter- rogations. Look, if the CIA were to keep tapes of their greatest hits, they could be used to hurt us. Not only would the enemy know whom we were interrogating, but our allies would know whom were were torturing, I mean aggressively interrogating.Just think if there had been no tapes of the Rodney King beating, there never would have been any riots. If there had been no cooter shots of Britney Spears, she would still have her children. If some busy body hadn't had a cell phone at a night club one night, Michael Richards would still be thought of as a lovable guy. Evidence is so 2000! Revisionism is the new wave.

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Oops Someone Did It Again

It looks like some investigative reporting, you know, that all-but-dead form of literature, has exposed some very sad information about our "I'm Gonna Kill and Be Famous" Omahan. But the debate is not on mental health, violence, or gun ownership. I'm so glad that now that we know that a mentally ill man with a history of violence was able to obtain a gun that we are focusing on the real problem, metal detectors and frisking at the mall. I have been to Manila with my gal pal, or puki pal as she calls me, Michelle Malkin many times, and I can tell you that all the security in the malls prevents gunmen from opening fire and killing innocent shoppers. Sure gunmen for hire will kill you on the street just outside the mall for just P5000 (that's 100 dollars to you and me), but that is the price you pay for freedom, and shopping, and 35% off at Macy's.

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Massacre!

Another tragedy in the Midwest as a crazed gunman, seeking fame and publicity, guns down innocent people in a shopping mall in Omaha, Nebraska. Well, they aren't entirely innocent. If they had been they obviously would never have been condemned to the hell that is Omaha. Have you ever been there? It's like a never-ending Cracker Barrel.

Well obviously this massacre would never have happened if everyone in the mall had guns. They could have turned their guns on the shooter, preventing many from dying. Once again the answer is not more gun control but less. Make America safer this Christmas and give your child a gun!

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I Told You So

Well, once again we all are waking up to see how the liberal media is feeding us a line of ca ca a mile long. Note, this is not the macaca you all have heard about. That is a very different thing. For a full definition of macaca, see George Allen.

Iran is not just continuing working on nuclear weapons, they also are working on intergalactic spacecraft to deliver these weapons to the four corners of the universe.

Yes, I know, many of you are quoting the recent Intelligence Assessment, which states that they quit working on the bomb in 2003, but I am telling you that is just the liberal media, the liberal CIA, and the liberal spies, telling us something else.

And now we are being told by Newsmax, possibly the greatest news source in the history of mankind, that they are using a single source, but that this source is not credible. We have never in the history of our nation placed such a weight on one single source. This is not the kind of slam dunk we have seen before.

We cannot wait for the President to figure out what the hell is going on with Iran. We must kill, kill, kill, attack, attack, attack, and make the world safe for us Neocons.

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Ron Paul Pulls One Over

Ron Paul decided to make an appearance on The View. I love the way Ron Paul has been able to dupe so many "moderate" conservatives and "libertarians" over his views. I don't personally like him, because he is anti-War, which is just crazy. But all of his other views are right in line with mine. How many of you know he wants to jail women who get abortions? How many know that he thinks that gays should be executed? How many know that he thinks black people should still be property? If it weren't for his crazy views on the war, I would love him.

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Mike Gets Hortoned!

Mike Huckabee 2007, meet Michael Dukakis 1988: get ready to be Hortoned!

A new group called Iowans for Some Semblance of Christian Decency is now attacking Mike Huckabee, claiming he is neither a conservative nor a Christian. Like that ever stopped anyone in the Republican Party from laying claim to either.

They claim he mocks God, steals from Americans, and lets rapists go free to murder. Look if we nitpicked every little thing a guy did wrong, Commander Guy would have been tossed out with the bath water five minutes after 9/11. Come on, give Mike a break! Anyway, I think the guy at the forefront of this group is a little suspicious.

Is it just me, or does the guy leading the charge against Mike Huckabee either look like a member of Heaven's Gate or Roger De Bris from the 1968 version of The Producers?

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Again with the Missing Chicks...

Greta has certainly outdone herself again! Her non-stop reporting on missing lady Stacy Peterson takes journalism to a new high! This is the kind of crack reporting that led Woodward and Bernstein to blow open Watergate! Who needs stories about Iranian nukes, failed detentew in the Middle East, sky rocketing oil, falling dollar, Russian and Venezuelan corruption, or Presidential elections? We have missing women! Now if we could only marry missing women with all the busty and topless women from Bill O'Reilly's reports, that would be must see TV!

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Ida Ho!

OK, I'm just getting tired of all the new revelations about Larry Craig. I've been listening to hour after hour of audio from male prostitutes who are now claiming to have had sex with Senator Larry Craig. Aside from getting turned on and syncing them to my iPod for later "research" at night in bed, I have never been so upset in my life.

I am getting tired of all of these closeted Republicans destroying our party. Why doesn't he have the decency of Lindsay Graham, who just sits quietly, lusting over the buns of the new young freshman congressmen in the Congressional gym showers, but never goes down on them in public?

And think of Karl Rove. We all know he is a bottom, but at least he keeps it behind the closed doors of the White House with male-prostitutes-cum-journalists. Now that is class.

Larry Craig, who don't you just do the decent thing and resign. As soon as I think I am ready to believe your little "I am not gay. I love my wife" bullshit, a dozen man hookers come out and point their fingers (and other appendages) at you as a hypocrite.

Won't something think of the children, or at least of the women not getting any like Blanca? Just buy yourself a pair of ass-less chaps, and relive Brokeback Mountain in the hills of Idaho, Mr. Craig!

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Fuel Economy, Schmuel Economy

Those crazy Democrats are at it again. This time they are forcing our poor automobile industry to increase fuel economy to 35 miles per gallon by 2020.

How will increasing fuel economy do anything about the price of oil? That''s like saying reducing your caloric intake will decrease weight, or exercise builds muscle, or dropping a ball will cause it to fall to the ground. Geez, these Democrats with all their crazy thinking and voodoo science!

I can't wait until Mike Huckabee wins the White House in 2008 and brings back faith-based fuel economy. Then every car in the nation will get 10 esarons to the pasaran!

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He's a Plant

My gal pal, Michelle Malkin, broke the news yesterday that the hostage taker at the Hillary Campaign Headquarters in New Hampshire was indeed a member of her staff.

This was definitely a ploy to garner sympathy for her campaign and gain support among voters in New Hampshire. This kind of shameless use of terrorism to win at the polls in unprecedented and beyond the pale.

Upon further investigation, Blanca has discovered other nefarious connections between high profile disasters and the Clinton Campaign.

Clinton was not only involved in the investigations into Watergate, she was one of the original plumbers, breaking into the Watergate Hotel in 1972.

A friend of Clinton, who briefly served on the staff of the Clinton Campaign in Nevada, secretly traveled to Vietnam in 1964 and coordinated the attack on the USS Turner Joy and the USS Maddox.

A member of the Clinton Campaign in South Carolina was present on the sixth floor of the Texas Schoolbook Depository on November 22, 1963. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Two members of the Clinton Campaign in Iowa were seen near Lakehurst, New Jersey carrying matches on May 6, 1937. Suspicious, don't you think?

Finally a member of the Clinton Campaign in Florida towed an iceberg into the North Atlantic on April 12, 1912.

It seems Clinton will do anything to win, unlike we honest and pure Republicans.

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