Air Sickness

Frontier Airlines has announced that it is filing for Chapter 11 protection. The company has indicated, however, that it will continue to fly.

This comes on the heels of last week's announcement that ATA and Skybus would immediately suspend operations. In addition American Airlines once again has canceled more than 600 flights following a discovery by the FAA that previous maintenance on its work horse MD-80 fleet was not performed according to standard. This comes one month after Southwest was fined a record $10 million for not performing critical maintenance on and for flying its fleet of Boeing 737 aircraft with fuselage cracks.

Boeing announced that is was once again delaying the delivery of its much anticipated 787 Dreamliner. The company also distributed a press release indicating that it would only deliver about 15 airplanes in 2009 instead of the 120 originally anticipated.

Meanwhile Blanca has been flying across the country in her continuing coverage of the 2008 Presidential campaign. Delays, security, and overcrowding have marred her travel experience, but one eternally perplexing problem remains: babies in first class.

Now I ask you, if babies eat their own poop, vomit all over themselves, and drink from sagging titties, why the hell would they need to fly first class? Blanca spends a lot of money to fly up front. She enjoys the attention and pampering. She certainly doesn't need some brat crying from behind her in 4C.

Blanca would like to help the airlines in their current woes. Her vast experience as an attorney and MBA could be used to discover creative financial solutions, legal relief, and new business directions. She would also like to introduce a new concept in air travel: curbside checking of children in pet carriers.

This will not only make air travel more relaxing for those of us who actually have a job, but will also act like an economic stimulus, spurring massive sales of pet containers. Stores like PETCO could change their name to PET and KIDCO.

And think of how it would toughen up those babies. That way when it's their turn to go to Iraq in 18 years or so, they will be able to fight, so that Blanca can remain free, rich, and fat.

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