Saturday, May 17, 2008

A Former(?) Pot Head Calling the Black Guy Black

I was watching the 60th Anniversary Extravaganza for Israel on the 700 Club, or as we born again Christians like to call it, "Countdown to the Messiah." We are looking forward to the day when Jesus returns, and kicks all of those Christ-killing Jews out of the Promised Land. Until then, however, we have to put on a nice face and pretend we can stand all those Jews. I just hope they don't get wise to our Spiel.

So there was Commander Guy, standing in front of the Knesset, delivering a speech on how wonderful it is to be a Jew in Israel, how dressing funny and praying at some wall is all that, and how Israel is a shining example of a democracy--1950's American style--when all of the sudden he dropped a bomb on Barack so big I for a moment forgot I was a white lady and said "damn, bitch!"

The Decider warned us that becoming an appeaser, appeasing those who would be appeased, like those appeasers in the appeasing past, appeased Hitler, made him appeased, and led to all kinds of bad shit, which I really don't remember, but I would if I actually believed in fact checking and doing my homework before opening up my mouth and talking all indignant about crap, about which I know nothing.

Fucking appeaser!

So as I listened to our Decider talk about how Barack Obama was no better than those people who let Hitler have his way, giving him what he wanted, and supporting him, so he could go on to march into the Sudetenland, annex Austria and invade Poland. And I thought to myself, who better than Dear Leader to discuss the evils of appeasing Hitler. Yes, if it's one thing our brilliant President Man understands, it's appeasing dictators and terrorists!

And after the speech, Lieberman and McCain both jumped to our President's defense while others attacked him and belittled him, and actually tore apart what he said by actually making a distinction between negotiations, diplomacy, and appeasement. Those bitches!

Look, Commander Guy is correct. You cannot talk to our enemies, that would be just crazy. I mean what would have happened if we talked to North Korea, Libya, or the Soviet Union? I shudder to think.

Look, the carrot and stick approach has never worked. What we have been doing for the past seven years under the brilliant command of Bush has worked perfectly. I mean just look at everything we have accomplished. Iraq is a flourishing democracy, Afghanistan is just like a Midwest state, and everyone in the world loves and respects us.

Indeed, every time Condi goes overseas to deliver some brilliant piece of advice, she is hailed as a hero. In the words of Barbara Bush, this is working quite well.

So although I do not support John McCain, I do support continuing the wonderful policies of W., which have made me rich, lots of brown people not so rich (and in some cases quite dead), and has made Iraq the shining example of what can be done when you put a Bush to it.

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