An Open Letter to Tony Perkins

Mr. Perkins,

I would like to commend you for all your fine efforts working tirelessly with your group Focus on the Family. At first, when I heard that Tony Perkins was focused on a family, my first reaction was "keep that homo away from my nephew." Then I was informed that you are not the very gay, and very dead, Anthony Perkins, of Psycho fame, but the not so gay and not yet dead Tony Perkins who likes his marriage straight, his men butch, and his sex rough. Wait, maybe I'm confusing you with another evangelical minister. No bother, if you aren't pissing off the Jews or blaming the homos for something or another, you are using tacit racism to promote your own self interests. In other words, you're all the same.

I recently discovered that you were focusing on something new, not just the family but also the weather. I read on your website that you were planning to pray for rain during the nomination acceptance of Barack Obama at Mile High Stadium in Denver August 28. I was very glad to see that you were praying to end the drought Denver has been experiencing. But then I watched your little video, and I realized that you were not praying to put an end to suffering, but to make life inconvenient for the Democrat nominee.

I must say that you really have outdone yourself this time. I mean with all the meaningful and important causes for which you could expend your efforts and make you prayers, you choose to create what may possibly become the largest wet T-shirt contest in history.

Sure, you could pray to end hunger, or war, or even for rain in some place where the crops are failing and people are dying. But you chose to focus on making a black guy a little wet.

I mean you could piss away your time and money helping to prevent illnesses like AIDS, malaria, respiratory diseases and diarrhea, which killed 13 million people in 1999. But you chose to ask God to take time out of his busy schedule to make some Democrats soggy. Good for you.

You could have even focused your efforts right here at home, where a million homes are in foreclosure, unemployment is at its highest since 2003, and the price of gasoline, food, and health care have put many families on the brink. But you thought it was a better use of your time to drench a bunch of kids.

And I am so glad that you are such a man of principle, that you will not be swayed by the cries of hungry children, the wails of dying people, or the lamentations of your fellow Americans watching their dreams shattered by the drunken orgy of incompetence on Wall Street and Pennsylvania Avenue. Once you decide on an idea, you are focused like a laser, or like a pedophile stalking a playground. Like I need to tell you what that is like.

Thank you again for all your efforts. And when you are done praying for rain in Denver, maybe you could pray for a little wind at Ruth Bader Ginsberg's next cookout, or maybe some ants at the Clintons Sunday picnics, or even a little cold snap for the Kennedys next outing at Martha's Vinyard.

Love in a platonic and not in that icky sexual way like you lust after little boys,

Blanca

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