Faggot, Please, Please Me Do

Well that little pussy of the politic, that right wing turn coat, that gay homo homsexualist, Andrew Sullivan, has done it again. He has thrown our beloved Commander Guy under the bus, rolled it back and forth a few times, got out, shit on his head, and then burnt rubber over the rotting corpse.

Those of you who know me, understand that I cannot abide by treachery. You also know how much I disdain Mr. Sullivan. When he was quietly permitting our beloved Decider to walk all over him, treating him like a second class citizen, as he raped the Constitution to please homophobes like me, I thought he was a pretty decent guy. Sure, he played hide the sausage, but I can overlook anyones predilections as long as they tow the party line for Dear Leader.

But then he started to harangue against Bush. He acted like he never liked him, treated him like a pariah. And that is when I could no longer overlook his nocturnal admissions.

And now Andrew "Blow Job" Sullivan is predicting that the Bush Administration will be indicted on war crimes. As if war was ever a crime!

Andrew Sullivan can hardly act like the jilted bride, the abused spouse, the igniter of the burning bed. He was there from the beginning. If Bush is a criminal, as he claims, then Mr. Sullivan is the enabler, who not only helped him aim the gun, but helped him pull the trigger. You can't very well act like cheerleader, urging your team on, ignoring all the illegal moves and penalties quarter after quarter, only to be appalled at the egregious foul in the final minutes of the fourth quarter.

Too many on the right have become fair weather friends of the bestest President in human history. They have fled him, like a bad case of the clap or a burning building, or a burning building filled with people with the clap.

This cannot and must not stand.

Show your displeasure with Andrew Sullivan. Email, phone, write, visit his home, camp out next to his trash cans. Make him uncomfortable. Make him scared to leave his home. Put small woodland creatures in his underwear drawer. Oh, wait. He would probably like that. On second thought, put pictures of naked women in his underwear drawer. That will show him!

We need to make life very hard for Mr. Sullivan, so he might think long and hard--pardon the imagery--on what he has done. Only then will he know the error of his ways and come back to our dear Decider on his knees. Er, poor choice of words.

If people like Andrew Sullivan are permitted to malign our President then the terrorists truly win.

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Don't Blame China

A lot of my liberal friends have been threatening to boycott the summer games in Beijing, just because China went and cracked a few skulls in Tibet. They feel this strong need to retaliate against the world's most populous nation, birthplace of the printing press, writing, and the all-night Chinese take out.

What did China ever do to you? I mean, sure they are poisoning your children with lead-laden toys. And yes, they have caused all those factory jobs to move overseas where the labor is cheaper (and more compliant). Oh, I agree they have been secretly selling missile technology to bad boys like Iran and North Korea.

And, yes, they have forced abortions--paid for by the good pro-life, Jesus-fearing, gay-hating folks who shop at Wal-Mart.

But damn it, they are most favored nation. Number one trading partner. They love us long time. I mean what is a little human rights abuses between friends?

Look, I'm no big fan of the whole Chinky thing, myself, but when there's a buck to be made, you certainly can look past a couple of misgivings and do it for the Benjamins. Even I, myself, have invested in a Chinese business in Beijing. It's a strip club, which adheres to the strictest Communist guidelines. It's called No Peking.

Instead of threatening to boycott the games, once again punishing the athletes who have done nothing wrong, worked very hard, and taken lots and lots of steroids, why not put your money where you mouth is? If you feel so strongly about China, don't buy shit from China. Just stop shopping at Wal-Mart, and make sure anything you buy is made in a less-oppressive country.

Like that is ever going to happen.

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Babies Are a Blessing!

At a recent rally, Barack Obama said that he wouldn't want his daughter to be punished with the burden of a baby for the mistake of having sex. Rightly so, everyone in the right wing blogosphere was up in arms. Well, most of the "up in arms" part was because they had been arrested for having airport bathroom sex, but some of us were really upset.

Babies are a blessing. That is why we on the right do not believe in teaching sex education in schools. Why should be deny young girls the joy of having a child, even when they themselves are just children? That is why we do not believe in abortion, which is child murder. Of course we are all in favor of putting children to death if they commit a crime. But that just makes sense.

If a young girl goes out an has sex, she deserves to know the absolute pleasure of bearing and rearing a child. Think of it like having an orgasm nine months later--an orgasm, which lasts 18 years or more.

And if having a black baby, like assumably Barack's girls would have, were such a trial, then there would be a glut of black babies put up for adoption. And we all know that isn't true. You can't even keep the shelves stocked with all those little Negrettes.

Look it's not like we have warned girls for years that if they have sex, they will have a baby, and that having a baby at a young age is a punishment, like say from God. It just isn't true.

Look women like myself and Condi Rice have earned the right to do with our bodies and our reproductive systems as we see fit. We are too busy to be burdened with a baby. But a young, nubile girl, she doesn't have anything to do, especially if she is black and unemployed. She has all the time in the world to care for that little bundle of joy.

Just don't make me pay for her little bundle. It's her own damn fault for giving it up without a ring.

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Obama Is a Muslim!

Last night I got into a heated argument with one of my Pennsylvanian friends. Over a glass of Rolling Rock, we traded barbs over whether Barack Obama is really a secret Muslim.

All the efforts of people like Hillary Clinton to finally put this "rumor" to bed have failed. Without real evidence, I am afraid I will have to conclude that Senator Obama is nothing more than a Muslim.

I mean if there were some kind of evidence to the contrary, you know like perhaps some sort of proof of Barack's membership in a Christian church, that would help sway my mind. If only there were some kind of national news story focusing on Barack Obama's Christian church, headed by a Christian pastor, delivering some sort of Christian sermons, then I would believe that Obama is truly a Christian.

It's just a shame that there is no such evidence.

I mean wouldn't it be great if there were some postings on the Internets, like perhaps the YouTubes, showing clear cut evidence of how Barack Obama's Christianity, involvement in a Christian church, maybe even pictures showing him next to a Christian pastor.

I really feel for the guy. I mean it is terrible when there is no evidence to support your claim to religion. It's not like he's someone who is truly Christian like Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson.

Anyway, even if there were evidence, it would still be a hard sell. Maybe you haven't noticed, but the guy is black. I mean really, show me just one Christian Negro. They are all Muslims, don't you know. I mean I really racked my brain trying to come up with just one black Christian, dead or alive. In fact, I spent all of Martin Luther King Day pondering the subject.

Oh well. It is just lucky for us on the right that we have no proof of Barack Obama's Christianity. He will be much easier to beat in November if everyone just continues to believe he is a Muslim. That way whenever he talks about solutions to our nation's problems, like crime, unemployment, poverty, inflation, war, and health care, everyone will just see him in a turban and ignore what he says.

Here's to four more years--with anyone but McCain.

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From His Cold Dead Hand...

Charlton Heston is dead at 84. His long storied career included such films as Ben Hur, The Planet of the Apes, and a long running sitcom with him as the President of the National Rifle Association. Actually, it's kind of sad that your entire life could be summarized with only three accomplishments.

Oh, he also defended the right wing's position brilliantly in Bowling for Columbine. That's the Charlton I will always fondly remember, scared of dark people, not too keen on the Jews, and really not all that comfortable around all those "Hollywood" types.

Since Mr. Heston has passed, and since he challenged me so often to do so, I plan to fly to Hollywood and pull that gun from his cold dead hand. If I have to, I'll chop off his hand if rigamortis has kicked in. At least I can sell his hand on e-Bay as a right wing masturbatory aid.

Then again, Blanca may just keep that for herself.

Services will be held at a gun show with loop holes galore near you. In lieu of flowers, mourners may send spent shell casings. Those from cop killer bullets will be put into a special arrangement on top of the casket next to the bloodied uniform of Daniel Faulkner.

Did I mention I was still in Pennsylvania?

Charlton Heston, dead at age 84.

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Blanca's Back

Well, they finally let me out of the "spa," and I am back on the streets again, so to speak.

I had a lovely time at the "spa." My roommate was a girl named Paris. She had this bitchy little dog who would not shut up. But I showed that whore. I fed the pooch some chocolate, and it was silent night. Lucky for me Paris is so doped up that she didn't even notice when they replaced her Chihuahua with a nutria brought in by some good old boys from the down on the bayou.

But overall, it was a relaxing and rehabilitating experience. They gave me some wonderful medication, which either blocks the pain or the memory, which led up to the pain. For the life of me, I cannot remember why I ended up in the "spa" in the first place. Oh well, I'm sure it will come to me sometime, you know, when I'm least expecting it, like when I am reading the papers regarding the election or something.

Do you like the picture for this blog entry? It was taken at a fashion show sponsored by the Ku Klux Klan at a "camp" near the "spa." It seems that basic white is out, and they were looking for something a little more splashy. Here I am modeling the latest in non-Jewish, non-homo, non-liberal attire. It basically consists of a large bio-hazard bag pulled over my head. It's lovely, don't you think.

I have been graciously allowed to stay with a friend during the final weeks of my recovery. Luckily, my friend lives in the Keystone State. So in between cheese steaks, pretzels, hog maw, scrapple, Tasty Kakes ®, and Hershey's ® chocolate, I will be walking the streets, asking Pennsylvanians for their opinions on which Presidential candidate they like best, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, or John McCain.

DAMN! I just remembered what led me to the pain which put me in the "spa" in the first place.

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