An Open Letter to Maggie Gallagher, President of the National Organization for Marriage

Dear Ms. Gallagher:

I am very happy to see your organization working so tirelessly to defend marriage from the gay. If this nation had more people like you, your Executive Director Brian S. Brown, and your Chairman Robert P. George, the world would be a much better place.

But I feel I must offer some critiques to your current efforts to protect marriage from the gay. Please do not take any of these critiques personally. It is obvious you don't know any gay people personally, so these are understandable mistakes.

If you are going to fight against gay people, calling yourself a "rainbow coalition" is probably one of the dumber things you can do. If you haven't noticed, the gays took that moniker off of the Reverend Jesse Jackson from his failed Presidential bid back in the 1980's. It is an honest mistake. I guess reading history books or even Wikipedia is not exactly on your short list of things to do.

Saying you are coming together in love to basically gay bash is not so smart, either. Seems people can see through a bullshit storm a mile away. Just ask the Republicans, whose approvals are mired in the mid twenties.

And speaking of storms, if you had just gone to one gay bar or hung out in one gay ghetto for five minutes, you would have known the mere mention of "storm clouds moving in" will cause the entirety of gaydom to erupt into a chorus of "It's Raining Men" by The Weather Girls. Now I know you keep away from the homos and all, but don't you at least go to a hair salon once in a while? Maybe you could run some of this crap by a couple of the "girls" and see what works.

Also, while we are at it, if you feel the urge to use acronyms, take a deep breath and don't. Your latest push called "2 Million 4 Marriage" ended up being gay code for a gay orgy. 2M4M means 2 Men for Men. If you had picked up one issue of the Washington Blade, the Philadelphia Gay News, the Village Voice, or anything printed in San Francisco, you would know this. I know it's gay, but research wouldn't kill you.

And can you tell your Executive Directory and Chairman that using middle initials is totally gay. And names like Robert and Brian are about as faggy as you can get. Try to pick a butch name like Bruce or Hank.

Oh, and whose brilliant idea was it to put the audition reels for your commercial on your web site? I mean are you really that incredibly stupid, or did you take a hit from the same bong as Michael Phelps? It really destroys the realism when you have one actress claiming to be a parent in one reel, and then a doctor in another. Oh, and while we're at it, what is with all the multiculturalism? We only want to see white faces. Having blacks and whites together, kind of brings up the whole Loving v. Virginia debacle. Not a good thing, when you are trying to determine who can and cannot get married.

Finally, I believe you would be much more effective if you laid off the whole doomsday scenario. Right now most people are worried about their jobs, mortgage payments, health care, and kids to be concerned about what you call the end of the world. I think people actually worried about their own futures and not the gays makes your tactic a little useless. Just go for the gold and say you hate homos.

Please keep up the good work. Considering your competition, you really have done quite well. With all the tea baggers, the Republican revolt, Rush Limbaugh, and Michael Steele, your little spiel is the best chance by far we conservatives have of gaining power again.

But that's not saying much.

Sincerely,

Blanca DeBree

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