This Week in the Gay

It has been a rather busy week for the homosexualists. The storm clouds surrounding the gay marriage moved in as a cold front over the Midwest created gay showers in New England, with a 50% chance of the gay rubbing off on some of the other "New" states.

First Maine became the fifth state to recognize same sex marriage. The House and Senate of Maine passed the marriage equality bill and sent it to the Governor for his signature. The Democrat said he believed that marriage was between a man and a woman, but to everyone's surprise, he signed the bill. But the act is not as courageous as it may seem. Maine has a voter recall option.

If you gather the signatures of 10% of the voters in the last governor's election, then you can create a referendum on any law passed by the legislature. It may not seem a tall order to gather 55,000 signatures in 90 days, but Maine has a way or surprising the GOP time and time again.

Not to be outdone, New Hampshire sent a bill to the governor's desk for gay marriage later in the week. The governor promised to have a decision on the bill, but has been mum on the subject. He also believes that it is wrong to redefine marriage as between one bored miserable man and an unfufilled miserable woman. But New Hampshire permits the governor to do nothing for five business days, allowing a bill to become law without a signature. What do they pay him for, then? I think the governor of Texas does even more than that. I mean the job of cleaning up the cocaine left behind by the Bush when he vacated his office in 2001 is a full-time job in of itself.

Then the National Guard decided that it was a bit more important to throw tax payer's dollars down the drain than deal with a homo--a fluent Arabic-speaking homo. What the fuck do we need Arabic speakers for, anyway? It's not like we went on some adventure in an Arabic-speaking country.

Lieutenant Dan Choi, a West Point graduate, and Arabic linguist, appeared on the Rachel Maddow show and confessed that he likes the cock. I mean the whole gay thing creeps me out as a conservative Republican (unless I have had a couple of martinis and my gal pal Ann Coulter suggests we swap underwear), but I think I have to agree to Barry Goldwater on this one.

Finally, an actor who starred in the long-running 1970's comedy M*A*S*H came out of the closet. Strangely, it is not Jamie Farr, who played the cross-dressing Klinger. It was David Ogden Stiers, who played the staunch Charles Emerson Winchester III. It must have been all the gay marriage in Massachusetts, which did it. After all, his character was from Boston.

In the coming days a decision is expected from the California Supreme Court on Proposition 8. Even if the measure is upheld, the passage of gay marriage by three New England states and the crushing econmy may give the California legislature the political cover it needs to pass a similar law. The voters may once again decide on gay marriage in California by proposition as early as 2010.

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