Persian Pity

Blanca has been resisting the urge to comment on the recent events taking place in Iran. Although it would be easy to take advantage of this opportunity for my own personal and political gain, I realize that anything said on this blog could be used against the people of Iran, who are courageously fighting against tyranny and for the right to just have a bad hair day without having to put on a head scarf. Others on the right have not been so reticent, and they have used this crisis to criticize the President, increase their own ratings, and promote a political agenda.

It would be easy to criticize Mr. "Ach Dude, I'm In a Dinner Jacket." The man is a raving lunatic. He's so certifiable, he makes Michelle Bachmann look sane, and you know that is saying something. And although everyone on the right has been secretly rooting for old Dumb Nuts to continue to be "President" of the Islamic Republic, it would be nice to see him go. Even though his departure would deal a crippling blow to the Axis of Evil. I mean of late, it really hasn't been all that axisy. After the free elections in Iraq, it became more of an Axel of Evil. And if the Iranians are successful in ousting Ahmadinejad and the Ayatollah, it will be more like a Pogo Stick of Evil. And that wouldn't be all that evil, now would it?

There is nothing more amusing than a pogo stick, especially one ridden by an elderly diminutive Korean man. Let's face it, the only thing funnier than a pogo stick is an Asian on a pogo stick. That's why we really go to all those Korean delis now, isn't it?--so we can make fun of the little old guy who owns the place. There is nothing quite as funny as watching a four foot eight old guy trying to stock the top shelf. Pure comedy.

But I have put my own ambitions aside in this revolution, and I have stood silently with the People of Persia, chuckling to myself as I think about Mr. Lee trying to put the Folger's Coffee on the highest shelf. But make no mistake, I stand with those godless heathens as they try to bring freedom and Disneyland to Iran.

And I must admit, that I have an ulterior motive. If those Mooselims are successful in overthrowing the clerics and forming a secular government, then it just looks all the much better for Commander Guy. I mean, this will be the second domino to fall in his vision of a Middle East free of tyranny and filled with The Gap and Banana Republics as far as the eye can see.

Sure, I can hear all my "liberal" readers out there telling me that it was Barack Obama and his new approach to Iran, which made it possible for the people to realize they had choices. But that would be wrong. Haven't we had enough affirmative action already? I mean the black guy beat the old white guy for the job. Can't we let the white simpleton from Texas have one measly victory? I mean given his track record, I think he deserves one little gold medal for participation for the last eight years, don't you?

So Blanca stands shoulder to shoulder with the people of Iran. Well, not so much shoulder to shoulder, as at an arm length. Persians have a tendency to sweat a lot, and I don't think they know what deodorant is. But as long as I am up wind, I will be with my Farsi Friends, as they fight for freedom.

Anyway, if this doesn't work, we can just bomb their cities, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity like my gal pal, Ann Coulter, suggested.

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