Sanford and Sin

Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina disappeared for five days this week, prompting an almost America's Most Wanted style search for the leader of the Republican Governors Association. In fact it became so close to becoming a manhunt, that Mark Foley and Larry Craig almost volunteered to track down their man.

In the middle of the week, Sanford's staff--not to be confused with Larry Craig's staff--revealed that the father of four had decided to hike the Appalachian Trail to clear his mind from a series of blows--not to be confused with Larry Craig's blows--dealt to him by the Supreme Court of South Carolina and the state legislature.

Yesterday, clever reporters, who seem to have recently learned about something called "investigation," discovered that the Governor's car was parked at the Atlanta airport, which is the busiest airport in the world, at least by air traffic--not to be confused with Larry Craig's airport restroom, which is also the busiest in the world, at least by foot traffic.

Witnesses said they saw Sanford board a plane for Buenos Aires. Who knew the Appalachian Trail went all the way to South America?

Today, the Governor, who believes that marriage is between one man, one woman, and an Argentine slut, admitted to an affair in the Argentinian capital.

Sanford has stepped down from his leadership role in the Republicans Governors Association, and offered a tearful apology to television cameras and microphones. It is unclear if he will offer a similar apology to his wife and four sons, whom he left alone on Father's Day, while he played Juan Perón, sticking his American sausage in some Argentine skank.

It is unclear how this will affect Sanford's future political career, but it seems certain that he is no longer a favorite for the Republican nomination for President in 2012.

Of course with company like the brain-dead Palin, the womanizer Gingerich, and the cross-dressing Giuliani, he fits right in with the New Republican Party.

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