The Democrats Taking Over

The Democrats are trying to get even more votes in the Senate and House. Their latest attempt to give Washington, DC a vote in the House of Representatives has been withdrawn after criticism from the Blue Dog Democrats, those more moderate or conservative Democrats.

Now some on the right, including my hillbilly in-bred friends over at ARRA News Service, have celebrated this latest move as a victory for the Constitution and a blockade to prevent even a single additional Democrat voice in the House.

But like most of the right wing today, their head is so fully up the ass of Rush Limbaugh, that they can't see anything but his upper colon and that half-digested wiener he ate last night. And who says Republicans don't swallow?

By abandoning its extra-constitutional attempts to give a vote to DC, Democrats have basically opened the door for the only other, constitutional way to grant DC a voice: statehood. And if you thought the compromise giving one vote to DC and another to Utah was ugly, wait until you see this.

Since Congress is controlled by the Democrats, and since the Senate has three very nasty Republicans who appear to be more scared of the voters than Rush, and since the President is a Democrat, there is nothing standing in the way for Washington, DC to become a state.

Immediately the Democrats would have two guaranteed Senators and one Representative for all eternity--or until Jesus returns in his Hummer to make all those Democrat sinners pay.

Washington, DC is the bluest place in the Union. It is bluer than Massachusetts, with gay marriage 142 Democrats to 16 Republicans in the House, 35 Democrats and 5 Republicans in the House, a Democratic governor, two Democratic Senators, and not a single Republican Representative. It is bluer than Hawaii, with an astounding 46 Democrats to 5 lonely Republicans in the House, a shocking 23 Democrats with 2 Republicans in the Senate, and the entire Hawaiian congressional caucus made up of Democrats. Only the governor of Hawaii is Republican, and I have my doubts about that ding-a-ling Lingle.

Washington, DC is so blue it's 90% Democratic registration pales only in comparison to the 92% majority they gave Barack Obama on election day, surpassing King County, New York County, Cook County, and Honolulu County.

So once again I must applaud my friends on the right for walking right into another trap set by the Democrats. By bitching and moaning about extra-constitutionality, you have ensured that the one thing we didn't want will come to pass. The filibuster will be dead. Gay illegal aliens will be getting abortions on demand guaranteed by judges legislating from the bench and paid for by universal health care.

Can someone tell John Boehner to grow a pair? Better yet, I hear Rush Limbaugh still has the balls of Steele. Maybe he can borrow them.

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Blanca Apologizes to Rush Limbaugh

Blanca would like to apologize to Rush Limbaugh for anything I may have said which hurt his feelings. I did not mean to malign his gentle character, or to impugn his enormity.

He is the rightful leader of my party, the Republican Party, whose two symbols are now the elephant--not to be confused with the whale--and an angry white guy, who's afraid of change.

Again, I apologize for hurting Rush's feelings. I'm sorry, Rush. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Will it help if I cry a little like Michael Steele did? Or maybe I could service you like Eric Cantor did. I'll even let you rape me like you did to poor Ron Paul. Just please let me back in your good graces.

Like the girl near the end of that crap flick The Blair Witch Project, I'm so fucking sorry.

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Barbara Bush Has Heart (Surgery)

Barbara Bush, former First Lady and mother to W., went under the knife in Houston to repair a faulty valve in her heart.

The surgery lasted 2 1/2 hours, and was without incident, her doctors reported.

Later they admitted that the actual surgery took only half an hour, but it took 2 hours to locate her heart.

One of the nurses, seeing her splayed out on the operating table with her chest split wide open and her guts spilling out onto her lap, said this was working quite well for Mrs. Bush.

The 83-year-old is expected to make a full recovery and be back on her feet insulting poor black people within a few weeks.

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Are You Free Miss Brahms?

Wendy Richard, the actress made famous by her portrayal of the young Miss Brahms on Are You Being Served, died last week at the age of 65.

Richard later became a fixture on the long-running British soap opera Eastenders. She finally died on screen in 2006 when her character, Pauline Fowler, croaked.

Richard was a staunch supporter of Margaret Thatcher, and once refused to deliver lines written for her by the creative staff at the BBC, where her character was critical of the Thatcher government.

Miss Brahms is finally free at age 65.

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Michael Steele Is a Pussy

A dickless pissing match recently went on between Michael Steele, Chair of the Republican National Party and Negro of the Day, and Rush Limbaugh, radio personality and Cetacea impressionist. In the end, the fat guy won.

Michael Steele is not one of my favorite Republicans. Many think it has something to do with his being pigmentally challenged. Nothing could be further from the truth. It's because he doesn't know how to stand for an issue or how to defend our party and move it forward in the 21st century--or is it the 17th century?

Mr. Steele has also failed to bring our party together or energize the base--that enormous part of our nation now comprising almost 26%.

Steele also has not given any clear direction on any future elections, whether they be 2010, 2012, or 3000. He's worse than a Biblical JPS system.

Oh, and he's black.

When Steele went head to head with Rush this week, calling the big fat drug addict names and saying that he boorish loudmouth was offensive, it sparked off a name-calling match, in which Rush emerged the winner.

I believe it is time that Michael Steele steps down as the chair of our party. If he cannot win a pissing match with a man so fat he cannot see his own penis, then he is a worthless leader.

Oh, and he's black.

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